Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Just another Wednesday

We woke Zeke up at 4:27pm.  Ben was very excited to see Zeke and tried to climb up on Zeke's bed to tackle him.  Zeke cried, kicked, screamed, and insisted that he just needed to sleep all day.  Then he kicked at Ben several times to prove his point.
I left Zeke's room and took Ben to the bathroom to start preparations for a bath.  Ben loves bath time.
We found a silverfish in the bathtub and I accidentally said, "Ewe," before getting a shoe to smash it.  Ben immediately started up a lively round of, "Eeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.   EEEEEEEEEeuuuuuuuuuuuuu."  Etc., etc.  Zeke taught him how to say it, and Daddy thinks it's very funny.  Ben wandered into Zeke's room while I was killing the bug and cleaning up the corpse, and soon Zeke and Ben were rushing into the bathroom, laughing and saying, "Eeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuu, eeeeeuuuu, eeeeuuuu..."  (They're both social laughers.  They have no idea why they're laughing, but they keep doing it.  It's awesome.)
Zeke asked to see the bug and smashed several invisible bugs with the shoe I'd used.  But there was more - he was very energetic, dancing all around and running paces for no reason.  I knew he had to pee.  And I knew I couldn't mention it to him or else he'd go the rest of the night without peeing.  So I pretended that Zeke was fine and filled up the bathtub and got Ben undressed half-way.
Then Zeke started crying, saying, "Mama, come with me!"
"Okay," I said, "Just let me get Ben's shirt off."
"I have to pee," Zeke said urgently, jumping up and down.
"Okay, go pee," I said, feigning perfect calm.  "I'll come as soon as I can."
Zeke cried and ran out of the bathroom.  He came back quickly.
"Mama!  I have to go pee!"
"Okay.  Go pee!"
"No!"  he sobbed.  "Can you come with me?"
Well, it turned out that all he really wanted was for me to fetch the training seat from the front bathroom and bring it to the bathroom with the bath tub so he could pee in there and not miss any of the action.
Of course, he couldn't communicate that to me so I was left guessing - chasing him back and forth, being ordered into the bathroom and back out of it, pausing to stop Ben from playing in a toilet, and remembering to run back and stop the facet in the tub.
When we finally got the toilet seat where he wanted it he wailed for help and stopped jumping.
I put down Ben hastily and said, "No, Zeke, not yet!"
I pulled down his (now wet) shorts and underwear and an uncontrollable stream of urine issued forth.  He was too short and there was no stool, so I lifted him up and tried to aim into the pot.   But the pot had the trainer seat on it, making it a smaller target, and I was aiming by moving the boy's shoulders around and hoping he would keep his torso steady.  He didn't.
Ben came closer to have a look, naturally, and we narrowly missed peeing on him.  However, he was the only thing in the room we missed.
Then I broke Tina's Rule #17 and said, "Well, I guess you're both going in the bath."
I tossed Zeke's wet shorts and underwear down the hallway and took off his shirt.  He went to inspect the bath and protested that there were no bubbles.  Ben splashed around the pee puddles with one sock still on.
While I was running more water (the bathtub leaks) and stopping Zeke from dumping a half bottle of bubble solution in to the tub, Ben found Zeke's wet underwear and tossed it into the toilet.  I stopped him just as he was trying to fish them out.
Ben went into the tub immediately after that, while the water was still running.  He was very, very happy and stood up in the tub, splashing and kicking his feet in a happy dance that culminated in, what else? pee.  Lots of little boy pee into the nice, clean, bath water.
I drained the water, got it re-filled and put both boys in it.  Zeke then stood up, leaned out of the tub and said, "I peed all over your carpet," pointing and moving his hand in a demonstrative circle around the bathroom.  "Don't worry.  We can buy a new one at Target."


Robert said...

Incredible scene... I wish I'd had the camera rolling. Nice job Staying Calm and moving on. Motherhood is not for sissies.

Love, Mom & Dad

renée said...

Wow. That's amazing. Like really, amazing.

Thank you for sharing that.




ol' Bob said...

Do you ever say to yourself, why don't I have a sweet, calm, mild-mannered little girl?

luke&whit said...

Thanks for sharing and making me audibly giggle! Love the Target comment!

Hi Lowe! said...

Oh, wow. This made me laugh to tears! :) Thank you for your funny way of describing a very real and un-funny-in-the-moment moment. Ah. I am getting a glimpse of this kind of thing with Isaac...I once had to drain the bathtub of the 3 kids twice because of Isaac's bowel movements...(plural). sorry if tmi... :)

thisismike said...

Ah, yes. Never have I been more proud than when my boy shows his understanding of our materialism and dependence on Target. Well, my dependence on Target. I don't think Tina cares.

I don't know why I have to work instead of sticking around for this hilariously awful moments.