The first time Zeke hit Ben, I was shocked and scared and I did everything I shouldn't have. I got angry, I yelled, and I put him in time out for 3 minutes instead of 2. Now that Zeke has attacked Ben more times than I can count, I have managed a standardized, calmer response. Not every time, of course, but an increasing proportion of the time.
I'm always sad when my boys fight. But, when the pendulum swings to the other side...it is beautiful.